Go away, Sparkles

Sarah awoke to find Edward staring at her creepily from the foot of her bed

“Uh, what? What the hell are you doing here?” she said, bewildered.

“I was just watching you sleep. Isn’t that dark and brooding and romantic?” Edward brooded darkly.

“No. That’s just creepy.” Sarah turned on her Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod with Mini-Tripod Keychain, which she always kept at her bedside. “Aren’t you that weird emo kid from the woods? Holy crap, are you sparkling?”

-Woot