Cows and Ice Cream

From Curmudgeonly & Skeptical

A teacher in the Nashville area writes:

We are worried about "the cow" when it is all about the "Ice Cream"

The most eye-opening civics lesson I've ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.

We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

Reese Witherspoon in 'Election' The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Ev ery one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.

Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild.

"Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."

She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, fifty percent of the people react like nine year olds. They want ice cream.

The other fifty percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.

Towed Idiots

So, I dial the towing company - yeah, they stil have the contract, and yeah, they will send their trucks right out.

Little over an hour later, three cars gone.

Out of pure fucking spite. Because I am a mean and hateful bastard, and that’s how I roll. And yes, had the Bumpers been full of conservative stickers, I would have let it slide. Discrimination, purely based on what they were. What of it? Whatchoo gonna do ’bout it?

So this morning, I drop by there, and find a nastygram stuck in my door, along with dried egg. The nastygram boasts of egging the building, and calls me a big poopy-head. And, to make the hat-trick, SHE SIGNS HER NAME.

*happysigh* One thing I can count on is Lefties not being terribly bright. One complaint of vandalism sworn out.

Gonzo’s Bar & Go-Go Grill

On my way to work this morning, I saw a woman with a bumper sticker of a peace symbol. Peace is a decent ideal, as long as it is tempered with an understanding of the reality of human behavior. Millions of years of evolution aren't going to be overcome by 50 years of smoking pot.



Next to it was a "loving kindness" sticker. This reads "Loving kindness is my religion". Loving kindness is only a religion in the sense that there is an imaginary entity who doesn't really do anything to effect change in the world, but has some seemingly impossible standards for people to live up to, and has somehow managed to convince people to ostracize and attack anybody who doesn't live up to those standards. Hell of a hook to hang a religion on.


I wonder how she would react to being handed a "W" sticker. My guess is her reaction would be closer to "bitchy assault" than "loving kindness.