You might be Al Qaeda if...

10 - You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9 - You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

8 - You have more wives than teeth.

7 - You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6 - You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

5 - You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4 - You've been asked, "Does this Burka make my butt look fat?"

3 - You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2 - You've uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

1 - You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.