Saturday, May 21, 2011

Ready for the Rapture?

Posted on Craigslist:

You don't need a big screen TV in heaven.   

The rapture is coming on Sunday.  If you are a believer, help me to help you!  

Let me buy your expensive earthly goods so you can get raptured in a designer suit.  You want to look your best when you meet your maker, don't you?

I am looking to buy big screen TVs(HD only), last-generation video game consoles and games, late-model cars and houses in good condition.

Don't let your possessions weigh you down when the Lord comes for you.


I will take everything off of your hands, allowing you to meet your maker with a clear mind for $100.  Yes, that's right, I will pay you $100 that you can use for a memorable "last night on earth".

You are absolutely out of your mind... Obviously a scam. To quote you, you don't need a big screen TV in heaven. So if this really is the end, why do you need all that stuff? You belong in a nut house.

Ok, $125, but that's as high as I'll go.

ok?! And you want what from me?

Anything you don't see a need for in heaven, of course.   We can meet at my mom's house, if that's ok with you?   That's where I'll need to store your big screen tv for a while, anyway.  Do you have a big screen tv?  If you don't, that's ok.   I can take care of your gerbil, too.