Overhear in my inbox

Honey,

Can I buy a double-barrel boomstick, specifically designed to foil bank robberies and well-paced zombie invasions?   Side-by-side, just like the movies.   It’ll help keep us all safe in the event of….well anything, really.  Aliens, zombies, regular thugs.   Even demon-rats!  We’ll just have to have a priest bless the ammo.  Please?

It’s a crazy-good price.  I could probably sell it for more than that in a few months.

It’s even mostly wood, so it doesn’t even look scary.  :)

I’ll let you get a pony.  Ok, not really, but I’ll let you think about getting a pony.

No.

What about the demon-rats?

How about if I actually let you get a pony?

 

No.

 

2 ponies and we paint it pink?

 

NO.

 

Ok, fine.

You can pick the color.

 

No boomstick.